Actual hand nicknames:
88- Snowmen
JJ- Hooks
77- Hockey sticks
QQ- Pair of Queens, AKA Siegfried and Roy
KK- Cowboys, AKA pair of cowboys, or Brokeback Mountain
AK- Anna Kournikova – looks good, but it never wins
AK is Big Slick Which makes 69, anyone, Bueller?… Big Lick
5T- Woolworth (5 and dime)
T4- Good buddy
89- Oldsmobile
J5- Motown, Jackson 5
Flat tire- “What’s a J4?”
Q3- Gay waiter (queen with a trey)
95- Dolly Parton- (you’d think Dolly Parton would be a big pair)
JK off suit- called the Bachelor Hand (Jack King off)
My suggestions:
KQ suited- Marriage
KQ off suit- Mixed Marriage? Can’t play that hand at Bob Jones University.
Mount Zion Ranch (polygamists in TX)- K with 7 Qs?
If you make that hand- they know you’re cheating, and the Texas Rangers bust in.
32- Should call it OJ. It’s his jersey number.
Can’t play those cards- that hand will KILL you!
82- Andy Dick- because it sucks.
TT- Tina Turner, because it’s strong and appealing, but has a history of being beaten.
45 suited- Britney Spears- nice to look at, but it’s basically trash.
68- Meatloaf- after all of these years, I can’t believe people still play it.
72- heard referred to as the Beer hand- time to fold and get a beer
Is there a pot hand?
I would like to know what the pastrami on rye hand is.
AKQJT- called Broadway
Which is ironic, because it’s a straight. What’s less straight than Broadway?
This is true: Mario Cantone (openly gay) was playing in Celebrity Poker.
He lost with 2Qs against a straight.
62- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog- it’s a good hand… FOR ME TO POOP ON!
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