Hurricane Sandy, at 1,000 miles in diameter, is now getting a federal bailout. Because it’s too big to fail.
New York City got wind gusts up to 80 mph. And that was just in Donald Trump’s apartment.
They’re calling it the “perfect storm.” Which can also describe the confluence of economic frustration and unemployment that leads to our first Mormon president.
Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer says she is suffering from a disease. Yes, it’s called “early onset celebrity.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing a sequel to Conan. In this one he gets fucked over by Jay Leno.
Justin Timberlake has apologized for a distasteful video. He should take that video, and his dick, and put them in a box.
Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobby Kristina is engaged. Not intellectually. Just getting married.
Bobby Brown, who got a DUI this weekend, says his daughter doesn’t do drugs. If that’s true, then the apple falls ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EARTH from the tree.
Mitt Romney got an endorsement and a performance from Meatloaf. I would do anything for votes… but I won’t do that.














